I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

A student asked 2 write a signboard 4 d traffic rules near college campushe wrote;"Drive carefully! Don't kill students, wait for teachers"

I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing

Definition of a Nurse A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand and then expects ur pulse to be normal

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top

How can one reduce consumption of alchol? Before marriage drink only on days when u r sad, After marriage drink only on days when u r happy.

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

Ek pal me kabhi ye duniya simat jati hai to kabhi bikhar jati hai. ek pal me jindgi chal pdti hai to kabhi tham jati hai. ek pal me hansati hai to kabhi rulati hai aur kabhi to ek pal me zindgi ke sare mayane samjha jati hai.

Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

India is a peace lovin country but the medals we have won in Olympics are ONLY in wrestling, boxing n shooting ! Strange!