Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Santa bought a car on loan… He didn’t pay the dues, the bank took away his car.Santa: If I knew this, I,d have taken a loan for my marriage also.

Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

santa took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" )

Judge: why r u arrested? Sardar: for shopping early? Judge: well, thats not a crime, anyway how early u shopping? Sardar: before opening the shop

Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Santa: Sir, I am learning the car. Inspector: without instructor ? Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.

SANTA enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge? Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

Teacher : Maine tumhe kutte pe essay likhne kaha tha, Kahan likha? Sardar: Sir, kya karta jaise hi kutte pe pen rakhta tha,wo bhag jata tha..

Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He was not sure as to what was to be filled in the column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?' Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.' 'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?' Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'

Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money. Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.