WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil: Moon... Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

Raj: Meet my wife Divya. Ajay: Oh, I know her... Raj: How? Ajay: We had been sleeping together. Raj: What the Hell? Ajay: 10 years ago, in our History classes..

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ? PAPPU: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.

Why r Egyptian children always confused? Because after death their daddy becomes Mummy

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

D bos came early in d morng one day n found his manager kissing his secratry. He shouted at him,"is dis what i pay 4 u"? D manager rplid- no sir dis i do free

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!