Dad:Why aren't you doing well in history?Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

Height of kanjoosi: A Sindhi's house has caught Fire & he is giving Missed Calls to the Fire Station..!

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”