Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…

Principal 2 students:U people must sleep atleast 7 hours a day.Students:Impossible sir!College is only for 6 hours!

Teacher:Draw A Diagram Of Bacteria Pappu:Here It Is Sir Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything Pappu:Sir,Cn u See Bacteria Withot Microscop

What do u call if Bill Gate's mothr gets bored.?BEAT THISAny guess?MOTHERBOARD!Gud nite

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.