I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

Sir:B quiet boys!I hav a bad headache Sdent:Why dont u do wot mum Does whn she has a headache?Sir:Whats tht?Sdent:She sends us out to paly

A pathan want 2 commit suicide, When asked : Pathan said,my wife ran wid my Best Friend & i can't live widout my friend

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy