Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

Sir:Tom,wot wud happen if there is a3rd world war?Tom:Tht wud be terrible.Sir:Why?Tom:There wll be another chapter in our history book

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole