The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Girl: Do U love me?Boy:'Ofcourse darling i do. Girl:Wil U luv me after marriage also? Boy:Tht depends on ur husband. If he allows Me 2 luv u.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What 'So? Which platform are u working on?

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Pappu: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Jeeto: Well, you have done the right thing. Pappu: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap