Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!

Husband says"When Im gone you'll nevr find another man like me". Wife replied"What makes you think I'd want another man like you?!!!".

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What 'So? Which platform are u working on?

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!