Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What 'So? Which platform are u working on?

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Boy: Y did Gandhiji have no hair on his head? TeacheIts sign of inteligence Boy: Now i undrstand y girls have so long hair!...

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.