Santa’s friend gave him a gun on wedding night & said fire in air if wife is virgin, shoot her if not. santa fired in air 1st nite & shot her on 2nd nite
Banta: Y did you buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car. Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?
Santa: "When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job." Banta: "Did you?" Santa: "No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed."