Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

FATHEHow r ur grades, son?SON: Under water, Dad.FATHEUnder water? What do u mean?SON: They're below C level.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Srdr : What is the Guarantee for this mirror? Shopkeeper : Put Down from 100 feet of height. The mirror will not Break for the First 99 feets. Srdr:Wow

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness