Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

Boss: Drive slow. Driver: But sir, u said you want to reach the hospital fast. Boss: Yes, but not as a patient..

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!