Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Somu:2day my pocket got picked but my wif saved me raj:Did she catch d thief? Somu:No man!She often removes most of d cash frm my Pocket

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.

Whats the height of hope??? A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme.......!!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Teachefour beautiful ladies r walking on the road. Change it to Exclamatory sentence... Student: WOW!.

What do you call a letter delivered from a chimney? A. Black mail

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.