Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.