Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who's there? Boss: Not you anymore.

Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything

Doctor implants New Ear 2 a man Man: "U fraud,U gave me a woman's ear" Doc: It makes no difference Man: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"

DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Height of kanjoosi: A Sindhi's house has caught Fire & he is giving Missed Calls to the Fire Station..!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!