A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

Man:I'm looking for a book-"How to control ur wife"...Salesman:Sorry, we Don't Sell Fiction

Whats the height of hope??? A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme.......!!

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You ve been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed." When do we get started?"…

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven