T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street. "Who are you working for now?" asked the first. "Same people," answered the other. "My wife and four children."

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Raj: Meet my wife Divya. Ajay: Oh, I know her... Raj: How? Ajay: We had been sleeping together. Raj: What the Hell? Ajay: 10 years ago, in our History classes..

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question - Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ? Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."