*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

Lady:Is this my train Station Master:No,it belongs to the Railway Company L:Don't try to be funny I mean to ask if I can take this train to Delhi SM:No Madam,Im afraid its too heavy

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.