What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-

Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

Man1: I do not want to marry bcoz I m afraid of woman.Man2: Get married soon, then u'll b afraid of only 1 woman n start loving other

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!