TEACHER : IF U HAVE 12 CHOCOLATES U GV 5 TO LEENA,3 TO TINA,4 TO MEENA, DEN WHAT WIL U GET? STUDENT: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!