A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the violin after the operation?" "yes of course...." "Great ! i never could before"

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Husband says"When Im gone you'll nevr find another man like me". Wife replied"What makes you think I'd want another man like you?!!!".

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later