Driver:is der no tree on dis road?Passengr:Sir,u r so great,I lik ur social mind.Drivr:Stupid,bus's brake has failed

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

I went to see the doctor who said, just be a little patient.

TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Kid: 'Mom who is God?'Mom:'God is neither male nor fmale,not child,not adult,not blak not white &he loves children'Kid:'Oh! Michael Jakson!'

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.