Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Teachewhich book is d most helpful book in ur life? : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Student:My DAD'S Cheque book!

Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."

A father asks peon: How are the studies in this college? Where do I see my son in future? Peon: The future is bright, I had also completed my engineering from the same college

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !