TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

Wife: u know, husband and wife are not allowed 2 be together in heaven!!! Husband: yes, that's y it's called heaven

santa was looking very sad."Wats d matter,Srdarji?" "I lent Rs. 5Lac to a friend for plastic surgery. Now I dnt know how he looks.."

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.