Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Whats the height of hope??? A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme.......!!

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Two beggars met. Two software engineers met. Both asked the same question to each other. Guess What 'So? Which platform are u working on?

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.