FATHEHow r ur grades, son?SON: Under water, Dad.FATHEUnder water? What do u mean?SON: They're below C level.

Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Kid: 'Mom who is God?'Mom:'God is neither male nor fmale,not child,not adult,not blak not white &he loves children'Kid:'Oh! Michael Jakson!'

Wats d Diff btwn own Wife & Other's Wife..??Own Wife is CHOCLATE can have Any Time..Other's Wife is like ICECREAM should have Immediately

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

when u kiss an american girl she says kiss me hard,when u kiss a british girl she say kiss me slow,but when u kiss an indian girl she says kisay nu na dasi

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)