Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor.Actor:what if i die?director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”