Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

Tcher: 3 grls are walking in da road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. studnt: WOW!

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

A sardar was always teasing his wife "Teen bachon ki maa". One day she got angry & teased him back "ek bache ka baap

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

judge-what you do? prisnor-This & that judge-where you live? prisnor-here&there judge(to policeman)-Arrest him. prisnor-when i will come out judge-sooner&later