Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

A company held a contest for kids with the theme: "The nicest thing My Father Ever Did For Me." One kid answered "He married my mother."

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Teacher: pappu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. pappu: Me!

Raj: Meet my wife Divya. Ajay: Oh, I know her... Raj: How? Ajay: We had been sleeping together. Raj: What the Hell? Ajay: 10 years ago, in our History classes..

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, "NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!