A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..

humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" jonny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife