Man calls mental hospital & asks if there is anybody in Room 27. Lady checks & tells him that the room is empty. Man: Good,that means I have really escaped.!
tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly
One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Why there are always two cops in a car patrol ? A: In case the siren won't work, one of them to scream "Wouuuu-Wouuuuu" and the other - "Blue, Red, Blue, Red, Blue, Red.."
Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)