A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly