Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

A guy told his friend, “My father’s name is laughing and my mother’s name is smiling.” So the friend asks, “Is your name kidding?” The guy says, “That’s my brother’s name and I am joking.”

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Teachewhich book is d most helpful book in ur life? : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Student:My DAD'S Cheque book!

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!