2 sardar soldiers captured a pakistani, gave him dice & said, if u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u! paki asks: 6 aya to? sardars: Then, throw again..

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

A girl comes late to class.TeacheY r u late?Girl: One boy was following me.T: So what?Girl: The boy was walking slowly.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

Boy: I am not rich like akash, I don't even have a big car like rohit. But I really love you! Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about akash.