Patient: Doctor,

Patient: Doctor,
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
  

Jan, 17 2012     180 chars (2 sms)     809 views       Jokes > English Jokes

more English Jokes SMS Messages

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself
Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.
What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.
TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens
A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”. PAPPU : I is… TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.” PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me." Friend: "What makes you think so?" Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."