Patient: Doctor,

Patient: Doctor,
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
  

Jan, 17 2012     180 chars (2 sms)     858 views       Jokes > English Jokes

more English Jokes SMS Messages

Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-
Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father
somu:mobile bill kitna hai? Callcentre gal:just dial 123 to knw ur current bill status. somu:abe Stupid current ka nahi mobile ka.
Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens
Srdr : What is the Guarantee for this mirror? Shopkeeper : Put Down from 100 feet of height. The mirror will not Break for the First 99 feets. Srdr:Wow
Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!