Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Man to Doc:Is there any way for long life? Doc:Get married. Man:Will it help? Doc:No,but the thought of long life will never come to your mind

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt ? FATHER : No. Why do you ask that? PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then

Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, but don't worry it will take just five minutes. Patient: And how much will it cost? Dentist: It's Rs 1000. Patient: One thousand for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home