Patient: Doctor,

Patient: Doctor,
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
  

Jan, 17 2012     180 chars (2 sms)     847 views       Jokes > English Jokes

more English Jokes SMS Messages

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."
Boy:My Gf broke up wth me & sent me d Kissng pics of her & her new Bf Frnd: Oh.its 2 bad Boy: Ya I know..dats Y i sent those pics 2 her Dad
Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!
Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."
Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.
A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!
Hus: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It is Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No darling, its : With Idiot For Ever
WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one