Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.
*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."
A girl wearing very short skirt.A boy asks he Won't yr mom tell anythng abt yr dress?Girl replied: My mom will b very angry..bcoz I'm wearing her dress.
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."
A guy told his friend, “My father’s name is laughing and my mother’s name is smiling.” So the friend asks, “Is your name kidding?” The guy says, “That’s my brother’s name and I am joking.”