Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Manu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

School girl : I dont want to take SEX EDUCATION class Teacher : Why not? School girl : Someone told me FINAL EXAM would be oral!

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open