Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27 She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

A girl wearing very short skirt.A boy asks he Won't yr mom tell anythng abt yr dress?Girl replied: My mom will b very angry..bcoz I'm wearing her dress.

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Frnd1: u have married with 1 of the twin sisters, how do u recognize ur wife? Frnd2: why should I ? : )

A lady gave an advertisement in the classifieds : "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a 100 letters. They all said da same thing : "U can have mine"

Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B. Ok A. A white horse fell in the mud

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

Man-i want a divorce. My wife hasnt spoken 2 me for six months now! Judge-better think it over! Wives like that are hard 2 get!