Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Never Explain Yourself to Anyone Because The person Who Likes U Doesnt Need It. And The Person Who Dislikes U Wont belive it....!!

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

Somu:2day my pocket got picked but my wif saved me raj:Did she catch d thief? Somu:No man!She often removes most of d cash frm my Pocket

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,bt never near girls college.Why? Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" jonny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."