Q: Why are husbands

Q: Why are husbands
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
  

Jan, 17 2012     116 chars (1 sms)     1138 views       Jokes > English Jokes

more English Jokes SMS Messages

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!
Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."
Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!
Mr. Verma got the following letter: If u dont send Rs.2 lakhs within 3 days time, we will kidnap ur wife.To this, he sent the following reply: I m very sorry,I cant fulfill ur demand, but I m sure u ll keep up ur promise.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!
Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!
The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..
Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.