Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

TeacheHow come you do not comb your hair? Boy: No comb, Sir. TeacheUse your dad's then. Boy: No hair, Sir.

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Son: Mummy, dad is very honest... Mummy: How can u say that..? Son: Simple... He closes one eye whenever he sees any lady passing by...!