Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Man1: I do not want to marry bcoz I m afraid of woman.Man2: Get married soon, then u'll b afraid of only 1 woman n start loving other

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Teacher:2rrow thr ll b a lecture on D Sun.U must all attend Raju:I'll nt b able 2 mak it Sir.Teachr:y?Raju:Mom ll nt let me go so far

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!