A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips? Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Wats d Diff btwn own Wife & Other's Wife..??Own Wife is CHOCLATE can have Any Time..Other's Wife is like ICECREAM should have Immediately

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!

Boy friend is fun & husband is gun boy friend is light of moon & husband is month of june boy friend is tooty fruity & husband is qismat phooti

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)