Doctor to lady: U look exactly like my 3rd wife. Lady: How many wife do u have? Docto2.

WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day." HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Thief : quickly hand over your purse I have a gun Lady : here take it Thief : ha! ha! no bullets in my gun. Lady : ha! ha! no money in my purse

School girl : I dont want to take SEX EDUCATION class Teacher : Why not? School girl : Someone told me FINAL EXAM would be oral!

Srdr : What is the Guarantee for this mirror? Shopkeeper : Put Down from 100 feet of height. The mirror will not Break for the First 99 feets. Srdr:Wow

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear." The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."

Raj: Meet my wife Divya. Ajay: Oh, I know her... Raj: How? Ajay: We had been sleeping together. Raj: What the Hell? Ajay: 10 years ago, in our History classes..

Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir

Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.

Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential? Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential