Teacher: what is ur caste? Student: pehle to assi rajput si, fir pandit ho gaye, hun haige sardarji.. ab agge mummy di MARZI !!!

Mallika at Airport. Bhikhari: behanji 1 rupiya dedo. Malika gave him 1000 Rs. Secretary: why U gave him 1000 Rs..? Malika: pehli bar kisine behan kaha.

Man knocks at door. 10yr old boy cums wid cigret in 1 hand & beer in other. Man-Papa ghar pe hai? Boy-Saale mujhe dekh k lag raha hai ki papa ghar pe honGE.

PUNJAB POLICE ka koi jawab nahi, kal 1 BIHARI talab me naha raha tha to ek POLICEwala kehta :- chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai...

Sir, kal raat Qaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan ki thi! Jailor : Isme itne hairan kyo ho? Sir,Hanuman bna Qaidi abhi tak sanjivni leker lauta nahi!

Beta:Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?Papa:Haan..Beta:Kis se hui??Papa:Bewkuf teri mummy se..!Beta:Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li..!

MunnaBhai: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai. Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Munna bhai:Arey Circuit mujhe Ek Nurse se Pyar ho gaya hai,Letter me kya Likhu?C-Simple bhai,Likhna"DEAR SISTER.I LOVE U,Tumhara MUNNA BHAI..

ek Aadmi dusre admi ko peet raha tha Aur khud jor jor se ro raha tha. jab logo ne usse pucha ki tum kyo ro raheho to usne kha- jab mai ise chodunga to ye bhi mujhe ise trah pitega.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Patni:Wo sharabi dekh rahe ho,10 sal pehle maine usse shadi k liye inkar kiya tha or wo aj tak pi raha hai. Pati:Wah itni lambi celebration.

Heights of laziness: Boy-Papa 1glass pani dedo. Papa-Khudlelo. Beta-Plz dedo. Papa-Ab manga to thappad dunga. Beta-Jab thapad dene aaoge to pani lete aana.