Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai. Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho. Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai? Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai. MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai. CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko. MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega. CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

Chuha: 2 din ke liye teri chaddi dena, Hathi: Ha, Ha, Ha, Pahenega kya..??? Chuha: Nahi meri beti ki shaadi me mandap lagvana hE.

Wife: Jab tum DESI pite ho mujhe PARO kehete ho, jab Whisky pite ho toh DARLING kehete ho. Aaj kya piya hai jo CHUDEL keh rahe ho. Husband: Aaj main hosh main hu.

Passengr 2 Bus-Conducto Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahete Ho?Conductr- 24 Ghante!P- Wo Kaise?Cond- "8 Ghante BUS Me Baki 16 Ghante BIWI KE BAS ME"

Pati Patni me ladai ho gai,Pati ghar se chala gya Raat ko phone karke pucha:"Khane me kya he Patni:zaher pati:me der se aunga,tum khakar so JANA

Nurse:Mubarak ho! Aap k Ghar Beta paida hua hai ASHU:Wah! Kya Technology Hai! Biwi Meri Hospital me hai or Bacha mere ghar paida hua hai

marwadi on his death bed-My wife, r u here?yes i'm hereMy son?yes father. My daughter,r u here?yes i m dadTo phir saalo dukan par kaun hain???

SON- Papa, Sab log Shaadi karke pareshan hai, to Shadi kyo karte hain? FATHER- Beta, Akl Badaam khane se nahi, Thokar khane se aati hai.

GADHA 1-Yaar malik bahut marta hai.GADHA 2-Ghar chorde.GADHA 1-Nahi yaar! Wo beti se bolta rehta hai - teri shadi gadhe se kar dunga. Ye sochke ruk jata hu.