Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

*A young accountant stayed late at the office day after day. Finally, the boss called him in and asked for an explanation. "Well, you see sir," he stammered, "my wife works, too-- and if I get home before she does, I have to cook the dinner."

DAD TO SON: When i beat u how do u controll ur anger. son: I START CLEANING TOILET DAD: how does that satisfies u? SON:i clean with ur tooth brush

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved' Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)