Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?' Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.' 'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?' Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago.'

Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"

Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?" Banta: "B.A." Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

SAnta ko raat me bahut machar kaat rahe the, SANTA ne gusse me zahar pee liya aur bola ab kaato saalo sab k sab maroge.

Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat

Santa Singh hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of his index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked him. 'well, I was trying to commit suicide,' Santa replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?' 'No! No! No! I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega? Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai

Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.Sardar:Thank God I was born after that .Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata

Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal

SANTA:Shaadi premika se mat karnaa.BANTA:Kyon?? SANTA:Kyoki,Shadi se pehle vo Romantic lagti aur baad me uska,ROM ROM ANTIC Lagta he!