Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

An optimist is a guy who thinks his wife doesn’t understand him.

Kash Life aisi hoti yaar .MONday ko dosti Tueday ko ikrar.WED ko pyar Thrs.ko intzar. Fri ko SHADI .SAT ko TALAK .Sun rest Monday neXT

Yesterday I decided to SUICIDE...I went to railway track 2 die...& then ur msg came...I thought "Jab tere jaise log jee rahe hai to main kyon maru"..!!

Man at medical shop: I need poison.Chemist: I can't sell u that.Man shows wife's photo.Chemist: Oh! Sorry, I didn't know u had a prescription.

Height Of Confusion: Whether To Laugh Or To Cry: Seeing Your Mother-in-law falling from 8th floor on ur new ferrari car. think abt it

I've written a poem for you: Twinkle twinkle little star, You should know what you are, And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far

A tactful wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman. . .

Never run behind either bus or girlat any situation in ur life.BecauseAfter 5 minutes,U can catch another!

Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega? Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain,outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain. or pait main balance nahin bach raha, jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai

After a passionate kiss the girl whispers to the guy, "kiss me once more and I will be yours forever!" The guy says: "thanks for the warning

God thought that since he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law