Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

Police to a drunkard: Where are you going? Man: To listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking, on health. Pol: Who'll lecture at Midnite? Man:My wife,.

A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

humne suna hai ishq mein ratoin ki neend udda jati hai plzzzzzzz koi humse bhi ishq karo hume ratoin ko neend bahut aati hai.