tom enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it. Wife observes the whole episode Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this? Tom replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly

A woman was sitting at a bar when a man approached her and said, Hi, sweetie! Want a little company? Woman: Why? Do u have one to sell???

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!!

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.