Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire? Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

D bos came early in d morng one day n found his manager kissing his secratry. He shouted at him,"is dis what i pay 4 u"? D manager rplid- no sir dis i do free

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" jonny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.