Boy: Mummy, if I failed in this exam I'll commite suicide.Mothe'Shut up! Never say that. If U try to do so I'll just kill you..

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: "Father in law".

A new Boy joins class_ He finds two Boys similar in appearance. Asks one of them Are you both twins...? Boy replies No. We are neighbour

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These are the world s largest Waterfalls and the sound intensity of the Waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing cant be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra falls??

Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

Sardar to Mali : Go and water the garden. Mali : It's raining outside. Sardar : Bloody don't give excuses. Take umbrella and go.

Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street. "Who are you working for now?" asked the first. "Same people," answered the other. "My wife and four children."

Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-