A father to his adopted son "Whats the height of laziness?" Son replied "What more than havin an adopted son.

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything

Physics teachr saw boy slepin Askd "Telme da unit f power" Boy woke up n said-"What sir?" Teachr exclaimd"Ok Gud Sit Down!" What=WATT!

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Hello My son won't come to school today,he has fever. Teacher: Oh,who's speaking? Boy: This is my father

Man Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?"Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!"

Sir:B quiet boys!I hav a bad headache Sdent:Why dont u do wot mum Does whn she has a headache?Sir:Whats tht?Sdent:She sends us out to paly

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."