Doc & engg loved d same girl. Engg before going out of station for a week gave 7 apples to the girl. Why? B'coz an apple a day keeps doctor away

Elephant &Ant were walking on a bridgeThen D elephant lookd down 2the river Sudenly ant Bited D elephant.Why?Bcoz ants wife was bathing in D river.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Teacher: Sonu, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Sonu: No, teacher, it's the same dog

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

Two flies order some food in a restaurant. One says: I'll take the shit with garlic. And I'll take the same, but without garlic, said the other one. I don't like to have bad breath.

Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common? A. They are both empty from the neck up.