Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Santa Banta find a bomb Santa and Banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Banta. "Don’t worry about it," says Santa. "We’ll just lie and tell them we only found two."

Sir:Can ppl tell the future with cards?Sam:My mom can.Sir:Really?Sam:1 look at my report card n she wll tel me wot happens whn dad gets home

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family? STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Teacher:2rrow thr ll b a lecture on D Sun.U must all attend Raju:I'll nt b able 2 mak it Sir.Teachr:y?Raju:Mom ll nt let me go so far

Lady1:"What do u think bout husbands?" Lady2:"They r like OWLS..!" Lady1:"How?"Lady2:"They see good things in their wives only in the night.