Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.

Movie director:in this scene u jump from 10th floor. Actor:what if i die? director:Dats not at all a problem,It"s da last scene

FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!

Whats the height of hope??? A 99 year old lady going for airtel ka naya lifetime scheme.......!!

Father: What was the hardest thing u learned at college?Son: How to open Beer bottles with teeth...!!

What is D diff. betwn a Secretary&a Personal Secretary? Secretary says,"Good Morning Sir"&Personal Secretary says,"Oh my God!Its morninG sir.

Man:I'm looking for a book-"How to control ur wife"...Salesman:Sorry, we Don't Sell Fiction

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.