Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

A boy goes to see a cabare dance.His mom gets angry & asks him:Did u see anything ther that u were not supposed to see?Boy:Yes,I saw DAD

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

An AMERICAN couple on african safari. Suddenly a huge lion springs up n seizes d wife wit its giant jaws.. Wife: "Shoot!, shoot for Christ's sake!" Hus: "I can't! I hav run out of film."

Wife: I hate the Beggar who came yesterday!Husband: Why??Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today He gifted me a book"How to Cook"!!

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? Here come the elephants!

The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes..