Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh…

A man in US kicks a dog to death which was abt to bite a lady.Paper reports:US citizen saves lady frm dog.Man says I'm not U.S citizen.So reprt changd,foreign hero saves lady frm dogMan says he is frm Pak Nxt days headlines:Terorist attacks local dog.

Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

2 ways to suicide.1) QUICK DEATH:Take a BIG rope,tie it around ur neck & hang urself.2) SLOW DEATH:Take a SMALL rope, tie it on a girl's neck to marry...!

Keep all ur troubles in ur pocket, but be sure that ur pocket has a BIG hole…

Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

Unmarried girl got pregnant went to insurance office for claim.Officer:ur policy covers sickness,accident,not pregnancy.Girl: it was an accident

A Noble Award winner dedicated his Novel to his wife and wrote It"s dedicated to my Wife because in her absence I could complete this Book..."

Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT !

The japanese hav produced a camera dat has such a east shutter speed dat it is capable of taking a picture of a woman wid her mouth shut

Do you know which is the oldest animal in the world??Give up??Well its,Zebra - Coz its still Black and White n not in Color!

Kayamat ke din farishtene sabse kaha,"es papar per apane-apane gunah likho."achanak tumari aavaj aayi"Sir,sapliment please.