Man: Whisper those three words that will make me walk on air. Woman: Go hang yourself

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

when u kiss an american girl she says kiss me hard,when u kiss a british girl she say kiss me slow,but when u kiss an indian girl she says kisay nu na dasi

Doc & engg loved d same girl. Engg before going out of station for a week gave 7 apples to the girl. Why? B'coz an apple a day keeps doctor away

A boy saw a Beautiful Gal. He went & kissed her... GAL : "Stupid...! What're U doing...??" boy : "B Com final year...And U ??"

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Sam to Ram:Did U kill mosquitoes?Yes.But why they still bite me at night?They must be widows of the dead ones.

Man runs home shouting pack your bags honey, i just won 10 million in lottery. wife: Do i pack for beach or Resort ? Man : Who cares? just pack and get lost.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant