WIFE: What Should I Get FOR U FROM London? HUS: A BRITISH Girl! She Left Quietly. On Her Return. HUS: My Gift? WIFE: Honey,Wait For 9Month.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Judge to accused: Have you anything to offer before I pass sentence on you?Accused: No, Your Honour. My lawyer took my last dollar.

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

A Grl & a Boy were sitting alone.D Boy started touching D grl.Grl:dnt touch me,All this only aftr marriage. Boy:Ok,call me aftr marriage.

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied,. In the lake."

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Q: If a Devil catches your wife, what will you do? A: You can do nothing...if the devil has done the MISTAKE, he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!