Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"? Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: Where you going? I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. At night? And who will give a lecture?My wife and mother-in-law!

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up? Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

What did one magnet say to the other? I find you very attractive.

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

Two men were talking at a party. "I," said the first,"only believe half of what people tell me." "Why ?" "I'm a lawyer." "I believe twice what people tell me." "What are you ?" "A tax inspector."

young girl praying:pls God marry me with intelligent man god replied: thats impossible, because intelligent men don't get married

Lady2Doc:let my husband come inside.Doctor:Trust me,I am a Gentleman.Lady:I know,but Nurse is sitting outside &my husband is not A gentleMan

Dost Ko Dost ka Ishara yad Reheta he Hr Dost Ko Apna Dostana Yad Reheta he Kuch pal Sachhe dost k Sath to Gujaro Wo Afsana Maut tak YaaD Reheta he

Stalking into a police station late one night, a man demands to speak to the burglar who broke into his home. "Sorry,that's against the rule," says the desk sergeant."You didn't get it," says the man."I need to know how he got in without waking my wife."

Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---

A Student goes into a library & asks for a book on suicide..! Librarian: "Get lost dude, U won't bring it back.