Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!

What is the height of mixed emotions??? when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes

The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up from the table and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!" "What are you worried about?" the other said. "We're both here."

Sir:Tom,wot wud happen if there is a3rd world war?Tom:Tht wud be terrible.Sir:Why?Tom:There wll be another chapter in our history book

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife

Wife:Honey wht ru looking4? Husband:Nothing. Wife:Nothing?U've been reading our marriage certificate 4an hour?Husband:I was just luking 4d expriy date!

Wife: Im ashamed of the way we live; papa pays the house rent, my brother sends food and clothing, aunty pays our electric and water bills and my friend Sheela buys us movie tickets.I dont like to complain but now its too much. Husband: U shud be ashamed; uve still got 1 sister and 2 brothers, who dont send us even a single penny.

Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren't listening the first time !

Teacher : If u have 12 chocolates u gv 5 to Leena,3 to Tina,4 to Meena, den what wil u get? Student: 3 NEW GIRLFRIENDS

A lady had 8 sons all named KEVIN, when asked how she differentiates while calling, she replied “by their surname”.